Gatecrashgate

The ever-shifting and still-developing scandal over Tareq and Michaele Salahi’s crashing the recent White House state dinner shall hereby be called Gatecrashgate.

It seems this term is starting to pop up here and there, so it’s likely I wasn’t the first to think of it. But still, I think it’s kind of clever and ever-so-slightly meta.

A parody: the ShamWow dude goes all Christian Bale

I came across this hilarious parody of the ShamWow commercial—one actually worth watching. (There are some really lame ShamWow parodies floating around YouTube.) This one features Joey Piscopo (yes, the son of SNL alum Joe Piscopo) playing ShamWow pitchman Vince Offer (birth name: Offer Shlomi). In it, “Vince” struggles with his spiel in a series of outtakes before losing it—Christian Bale-style—on some hapless dude who wanders onto the set.

Among the more brilliant moments is the riff on “Are you talking to me?” from Taxi Driver—here, a meditation on Vince’s infamous line, “Are you following me, camera guy?” He also points out the ridiculousness of the real Vince’s suggestion that “you’re gonna spend 20 dollars a month on paper towels anyway”… because really, who the hell spends that much on paper towels?

I’ve been shamelessly pimping this video in part because I think Joey Piscopo is a talent to watch.

Happy 50th, Kate!

Today is KaTemas (that is, Kate Bush’s birthday), but this year is a little special. Kate is 50 and has been gracing us with her music for 30 years. Here’s the touching (and clever) video of one her most beautiful songs, “This Woman’s Work,” from 1989′s The Sensual World.

Puck’s Christmas Favorites: Dave, Paul, Cher, and Darlene

A Late Show with David Letterman Christmas tradition is a fantastic performance of “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by the inimitable Darlene Love, gorgeously backed by singers and an expanded CBS Orchestra to re-create live the unmistakable “Wall of Sound”, all expertly directed by Paul Shaffer.

But before this can happen, Paul must remind us of an unforgettable Sonny and Cher Christmas special of yore, and Cher’s very memorable rendition of “O Holy Night”…

This is Darlene Love’s performance from last year.

Sadly, due to the ongoing and seemingly interminable Writers’ Guild strike, there will be no such performance this year.

Puck’s Christmas Favorites: Do They Know It’s Christmas?

The original version of the 1984 charity single is still, in my opinion, the best. In aid of the famine in Ethiopia, it was the first of many, many 1980s star-studded benefit songs. There’s a sincerity and innocence of spirit to “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” that USA for Africa’s schmaltzy me-too! ”We Are the World” doesn’t even come close to matching.

I first heard the song soon after it was released in December of 1984 and hit big everywhere. A girl at my school transcribed the lyrics with the names of who sang which lines. (I remember her having put a question mark where Bono’s name should have been. Canadian twelve-year-olds in 1984 could be forgiven for not being familiar with U2. But we sure knew who Boy George, Simon LeBon, Paul Young, and a WHAM!-era George Michael were.) It’s become a Christmas classic in its own right, and never fails to stir up some very pleasant memories.

Puck’s Christmas Favorites: Bing and Bowie

Bing Crosby’s final Christmas special, in 1977, featured an odd little duet with none other than glam rocker David Bowie. “The Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth” has now become a classic in its own right. This article gives a good behind-the-scenes account of how it all went down. There’s a widely-held notion that Bing was generally out of it and had no idea who Bowie was, but this is disputed here:

It’s unclear, however, whether Crosby had any idea who Bowie was. Buz Kohan, who wrote the special and worked with Fraser and Grossman on the music, says he was never sure Crosby knew anything about Bowie’s work. Fraser has a slightly different memory: “I’m pretty sure he did [know]. Bing was no idiot. If he didn’t, his kids sure did.”

A simple duet of “The Little Drummer Boy” might not have been memorable on its own. The “Peace on Earth” counterpoint is what makes the piece so powerful.

The original plan had been for Bowie and Crosby to sing just “Little Drummer Boy.” But “David came in and said: ‘I hate this song. Is there something else I could sing?’ ” Fraser said. “We didn’t know quite what to do.”

Fraser, Kohan and Grossman left the set and found a piano in the studios’ basement. In about 75 minutes, they wrote “Peace on Earth,” an original tune, and worked out an arrangement that weaved together the two songs. Bowie and Crosby nailed the performance with less than an hour of rehearsal.

I don’t know if I saw this particular Christmas special when it aired. The reason I love this bit is not just because of the song itself (with its gorgeous, very 70s arrangement), but because it evokes memories of old-school Christmas specials—the kind that died sometime in the 80s. Sure, they still do specials like Christmas at Rockefeller Center, but these seem more like concerts than anything else. Back in the 70s—the heyday of primetime variety shows—Christmas specials were gaudy, whimsical affairs, with bad comedy sketches and questionable production values. The awkward banter between Bing and Bowie is a good example of the cheese factor inherent in old-school specials.

Puck’s Christmas Favorites: The Sweeney Sisters

I have nothing much to do since the end-of-semester-from-hell ended, so I thought I’d dust off the blog and post some of my favorite Christmas videos. I considered doing some sort of “Puck’s Twelve Days of Christmas Favorites,” but that would have involved my finding and rating twelve favorites. After what I’ve just been through with school, I’m in no mood to do anything involving structure, organization, critical thinking, or concentration. So I’m just going to throw a bunch of stuff at y’all: Holiday favorites found on YouTube, with a little blurb on why each is special to me.

Let’s kick it off with Saturday Night Live‘s Sweeney Sisters (Jan Hooks and Nora Dunn) and their unforgettable Christmas medley. This episode of SNL aired December 20, 1986 with host William Shatner, and is probably best remembered for The Shat’s famous “Get a life!” sketch.)

EDIT: Sorry, folks. This is a really popular post on the blog, but the video has been taken down from YouTube due to copyright violation. If I had a copy of the video (I’m not saying whether I do or not) and were to re-upload it, YouTube would immediately and automatically detect it as copyrighted material and reject it. HOWEVER: If you leave me a comment or send me an email, I just might (MIGHT!) have some suggestions on where you might (MIGHT!) look for it.

CHRISTMAS 2011 UPDATE: I am still replying to everyone who comments or emails. Keep it coming!

The associated warm-fuzzy memory is of my sister’s first visit home for Christmas after having moved to Vancouver earlier that year. We were all so happy to see her again, and the mood at home was festive times ten. We watched this SNL together, and for the rest of her visit, she and I kept going up to each other singing, “Hark! how the bells / Here come the bells / There go the bells / So many bells! / Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas! / Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas!”

Hurricane Natalee

Something I want to research and write on for my M.A. is “Missing White Woman Syndrome,” wherein disproportionate media coverage is given to cases involving pretty, white, female victims (or would-be victims) of crime. Think Natalee Holloway, Jennifer “Runaway Bride” Wilbanks, Chandra Levy. (The current Missing White Woman is named Emily Sanders who, it turns out, lived a double life as an Internet porn star. I’ll have to keep my eye on this case.) In particular, I want to look at the intricate construction of the CNNian/MSNBCinian mythos of Missing White Woman Syndrome, including an extensive and considered analysis its obsessive tropes and stock characters.

In any case, I thought the term Hurricane Natalee was not only catchy but appropriate, given the tropical locale in which Miss Holloway disappeared. Googling “Hurricane Natalee” turns up nothing, so I’m laying claim to the term here and now. Hurricane Natalee is the media phenomenon linked to Missing White Woman Syndrome, in which a gigantic, yet rather predictable, storm of media frenzy descends upon an otherwise unspectacular crime, forcefully displacing more newsworthy stories in favour of hails of self-righteous platitudes, misplaced victimology, demonization of the foreigner, and pretty yearbook photos.

I must point out, for the thick, that anything I write would not be about Natalee Holloway herself, but rather the media’s perverse eagerness to turn the case into yet another another excuse for circus-like wall-to-wall coverage, complete with a catchy logo and montage and theme tune. It just seems to me that this case in particular set a new standard for sensationalist, over-the-top news coverage, cementing the place of Missing White Woman Syndrome as a real phenomenon in today’s media. Natalee’s disappearance, like any other, was tragic—but at what point does news reporting thereof cross the line and, in fact, become disrespectful to the memory of, and to the family of, a victim of crime?

When beauty pageants go bad… real bad…

This little gem has been making the rounds. Stacy Hedger, Miss Douglas County, performs the Star Wars theme—more accurately, a knockoff of the Meco disco version thereof—on the trumpet, along with an interpretive dance. It gives a whole new meaning, on at least two levels, to “Thar she blows!“

This is hilarious and horrifying at the same time. It raises some questions that I’d like you to ponder while watching. (I don’t know what’s up with the squished video.)

First, did she think that mediocre trumpet playing + mediocre interpretive dance = acceptable performance? These things aren’t additive. It goes the other way around, honey.

Second, how did this get past her bedroom mirror, let alone the friends and family she tried this out on before the pageant?

Third, what constructive criticism did said friends and family give her, and did she incorporate it? If so, how much worse was this performance before they gave their feedback? “Hey Stacy, I got an idea! Turn the trumpet around and pretend it’s a laser gun!”

Fourth, consider that she’s introduced as Miss Douglas, which means she’s already won some sort of preliminary pageant. How bad must the other contestants have been?

Fifth, how did this get past dress rehearsal?

And finally… how did she do in the end? Because if she was any sort of finalist, I’d pay big bucks for video of the other contestants’ performances in the pageant talent segment.

Points to ponder.

Congratulations to “Evel” Dick

“Evel” Dick Donato, arguably one of the most reviled Big Brother contestants, won BB8 with a vote of 5 to 2. Many were hoping his daughter Daniele would win simply because she’s the lesser of two evils (or “Evels”), but I’m still waiting for someone to convince me her game was better than Dick’s. Winning PoVs (Daniele won five, tying Janelle) does not equal strategy.

That said, I have a few observations about the finale:

• Joe—whom I used to hate—displayed humility and class in congratulating Dustin on his game. Dustin, did you have to be such a bitter, vindictive queen? Couldn’t you have just thanked him? You won $5000 (on top of your weekly stipend) and a trip to the Barbados, and then spent several weeks in the gorgeous sequester house. Get over it, and get over yourself.
• Julie Chen, aka the Chenbot, was so much more loose tonight in her delivery. Why is she so robotic and wound up during the live eviction shows? Was she loaded tonight?
• I really didn’t need to see Chicken George.
• Howie has gotten really fat.
• Janelle. Sweet, sweet Janelle. The most beloved contestant in BB history. I got a fever, and the only prescription is more Janelle!
  
• Nick had his arm casually draped over the back of Joe’s chair. Probably didn’t mean anything, but I thought I’d point that out.
• Eric was shitting bricks when the America’s Player twist was revealed. I’m sure he was only worried about Jessica’s reaction. I’m glad he didn’t propose to her, like Mike Boogie did to Krusta at the BB2 finale.

All in all, a pretty good season. The nemeses twist didn’t quite work out with Carol and Jessica, and Dustin and Joe didn’t generate any drama in the house, keeping their discussions private.

For next season, I’d rather see no twist at all than another lame one. This season would have turned out very, very differently had Eric not been forced to do the viewers’ bidding.

More anon, if I think of anything else to add. In the meantime, check out [the little spruce tree]!

Return of [the little spruce tree]

Recently pruned and looking better than ever, the inimitable, irrepressible, and irresistible Daniel Baylis is back for another season of “introspective ramblings and questionable attempts at humour” on his blog, [the little spruce tree].

I don’t know if I can top the plug I gave [tlst] back in March, when I said:

In my literature studies, I always appreciate a work that’s real and honest, a work that manages to convey great meaning through economy, clarity, and familiarity of style, rather than through heavy, florid turns of phrase… [Daniel's writing] possesses that nearly inscrutable ability to convey depth of significance through the same economy, clarity, and familiarity of style that I value in literary texts. No matter what the message, I never feel weighed down or otherwise burdened by what I’m reading.

So don’t dawdle! Head on over now!

LEAVE CHRIS CROCKER ALONE!

Spot on!

LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! SHE’S A HUMAN!

Holy Mother of God. I know I have a snarky post in me somewhere. If it weren’t so late, and if I hadn’t spent the past three hours in a Literature of the Fin de siècle seminar, I’d do my usual Puck’s Prattle treatment. Maybe I’ll come up with something tomorrow. Let me sleep on it…

In the meantime, check out [the little spruce tree]!

Life imitates art

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) gets caught cottaging. The best part is the audiotape in which he tries to explain away his under-stall sexual overtures. It made me think of this series of Little Britain sketches in which MP Sir Norman Fry, flanked by his family, repeatedly finds himself in much the same position (har, har) as Craig.

“I believe our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S.”

…or should help South Africa, it should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future… for our children.

Miss South Carolina Teen USA, Lauren Caitlin Upton, screws up her answer big time, the video of which goes viral for the entire planet to mock.

Listen carefully to her words. The irony is deliciously cruel.

The Three Degrees: Giving Up Giving In

More excellent disco here on Puck’s Prattle.

This is brilliant, infectious electrodisco at the very beginning of the hi-NRG sound, which would continue through to the mid 80s. “Giving Up Giving In” is the signature song of the Three Degrees’ late 70s collaboration with electrodisco pioneer Giorgio Moroder.

This song comes on hyper-strong and never lets go. Listen carefully to how stacked the backing vocals are. The best word I can find to describe them is bewitching.

Candi Staton: Nights On Broadway

Her joyous delivery is mesmerizing. She’s in a bellbottomed pink jumpsuit, riding on the hood of a car driving through 1970s New York City.

Copacabana

I just realized what sub-genre of disco this perennial Barry Manilow hit falls into: New York Jewish. It’s so excellently tacky. Delicious to watch.

Big Brother 8: The Dustin upset

In one of the more interesting surprise evictions in Big Brother history, Dustin inadvertently backdoors himself—no dildo needed.

He totally did not see that coming. Dustin leaves the house wearing the same cruddy gray V-neck T-shirt and is interviewed by the Chenbot in her gazebo.

In which Puck admits the 1980s were not a total bust

Those who know me know I’m fond of dissing the 1980s; I refer to them as being “a horrible, horrible time.” And there’s more than enough 80s hideousness to go around. Still, some good music came out of that decade. Case in point: well-done synth pop, or “sophisti-pop,” with solid hooks and evocative lyrics. For the first time, mainstream pop music that made no apologies for being completely synthetic with not the slightest hint of an acoustic instrument (other than voice). I think most are in agreement that the best of it came out of the U.K.

First, two prime examples of synth pop at its best:

Human League, “Don’t You Want Me Baby”

Depeche Mode, “Just Can’t Get Enough”

And for sophisti-pop:

Blow Monkeys, “Digging Your Scene”

Double, “Captain of Her Heart”