This is your hot dog on LSD

Demon drug LSD leads a young initiate to murder a hot dog! I knew acid made everyone who took it jump off a bridge and end up a quadriplegic, but saucissicide?

I was very hungry, and I had put mustard and ketchup and relish and the usual, and I put the hot dog up to my mouth, and somebody started screaming.

I looked down at the hot dog, and there was a face on it! Eyes, nose, a mouth. I had put the ketchup to where it looked like his hair. And he started telling me that I couldn’t eat him, that he had a wife and seven kids at home to support.

Finally I decided that I was just hallucinating, so I put it in my mouth and bit down. It screamed so loud that you could hear it all over town, so I had to throw it on the ground and step on it. And I was jumping on this hot dog in the middle of Market Street.

I realized that I had murdered it, and I took off screaming down the street, scared.

I don’t know about you, but I find this far more effective than the eggs in a frying pan PSA.