TaB cola: the secret to marital fidelity

February 4, 2007 at 2:30 pm 1 comment

I have fond memories of drinking can after can of TaB® cola in the early 80s. As I recall, it wasn’t half bad, and I was even a bit disappointed when my mom switched to the new Diet Coke® when that was introduced.

But who knew that TaB could keep your husband from cheating on you while away on business?

This commercial is wrong on so many levels. First, what the fuck is a “mind-sticker”? Was that late 60s-early 70s slang for “dutiful wife so attractive and stick-thin that her husband doesn’t even give his hot young mini-skirted secretary a second glance”? Mind-sticker. It makes me think of pot sticker, which would imply the woman is in fact dumpling-like, and therefore the TaB isn’t working!

Second, the lyrics:

Don’t you want to have a good shape?
He wants you with a good shape
Shape with TaB!

“Honey, I want you with a good shape! By the time I get back from Baltimore, you’d better have lost ten pounds if you know what’s good for you. Doralee can take more than dictation, you know…”

Finally, the direction and cinematography. It looks like a sinister, poorly-lit feminine hygiene commercial, what with the frolicking through the trees. And look at how she brings the glass of TaB to her mouth at around 0:46 and gently sips—surely rehearsing for the coming evening’s wifely duties.

Yes, it seems TaB was a valuable weapon in the arsenal of every Wonder Years-era housewife with a deep-seated fear of abandonment.

Needless to stay, I’m sure the idea that diet cola = thin stuck in the minds of many a young girl who would grow up to be a model and subsist on Diet Coke, rice cakes, and Gauloises.

Advertisements

Entry filed under: 1970s, bizarre, pop culture, TV.

Vlogging can wait Drew Barrymore’s 80s workout

1 Comment Add your own

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


About me

I am a student of Sociology at Concordia University in Montreal, Canada. I hold a degree in English Literature, also from Concordia.
February 2007
S M T W T F S
« Jan   Mar »
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728  

Email me

pucksprattle [AT] yahoo [DOT] ca

I’m tracking you

website statistics

Buttons and stuff



Blogarama - The Blog Directory

%d bloggers like this: